Parenting WIN

[HilbillyHomeboy]

NWS FOR LANGUAGE



We need more parents like this. This is how it's done.

Jeremy

[AgentOblivious]

What a douchebag.

I don't care what you guys think, but when you start keeping score like that, and hiding behind videos and going and wrecking her stuff behind her back, you're stooping to her level and then its not punishment, its a fight.

Sometimes it works, sometimes they end up moving out and in with a drug dealer they met at school. *true story*

Sounds like there's more to the story than just his side.

[Valhallaz]

What a douchebag.

I don't care what you guys think, but when you start keeping score like that, and hiding behind videos and going and wrecking her stuff behind her back, you're stooping to her level and then its not punishment, its a fight.

Sometimes it works, sometimes they end up moving out and in with a drug dealer they met at school. *true story*

Sounds like there's more to the story than just his side.

I'd of reacted similarly, but I'd of destroyed the laptop in front of her. There wouldn't have been video. And I've raised two walking nightmares, the children of my ex's junkie sister.
I understand his frustration perfectly.

How many kids have you raised? And how, with your vast experience, would you have handled it?

[AgentOblivious]

I'd of reacted similarly, but I'd of destroyed the laptop in front of her. There wouldn't have been video. And I've raised two walking nightmares, the children of my ex's junkie sister.
I understand his frustration perfectly.

How many kids have you raised? And how, with your vast experience, would you have handled it?

I understand the frustration, but that's exactly what it is; fustration. He's taking it out emotionally, instead of trying to be constructive about it. I haven't had any kids of my own, but I've seen what can happen when its a fight as opposed to parenting. My cousin's been disowned by his parents, and as I understand it they don't even get to see their own grandkids now, all over a family fight.

Its high-horsed of me to be saying this, and only time will tell if that's what I'd actually do, but none of this embarrassing her in front of her friends, or destroying perfectly good equipment. She'd get a private chewing out, and frankly I'd only care about her school work at that age, not whether or not she has a job. Also, a list? Really? Its chores, not a game. I'd bust out a broom and some towels, and we'd do it together.

[HilbillyHomeboy]

What a douchebag.

I don't care what you guys think, but when you start keeping score like that, and hiding behind videos and going and wrecking her stuff behind her back, you're stooping to her level and then its not punishment, its a fight.

Sometimes it works, sometimes they end up moving out and in with a drug dealer they met at school. *true story*

Sounds like there's more to the story than just his side.

Keeping score? Of what? How many times he's been down the same road with her? That's called life, hotshot. Ever had a performance review for a job? Yeah, they "keep score".

Hiding behind videos? He's not hiding behind anything. He's already dealt with her and this same disrespect in the past. The original "punishment" didn't work, obviously. Time for a new approach. My father did the same kind of shit to me, I learned real quick not to repeat that act.

I can't wait to hear this...tell me what clues you saw/heard to assert there's more to the story? AgentOblivious, indeed.

Jeremy

[AgentOblivious]

Keeping score? Of what? How many times he's been down the same road with her? That's called life, hotshot. Ever had a performance review for a job? Yeah, they "keep score".

My manager works from 5 am - 2:30, I usually work nights and weekends...of course my performance reviews are an accurate portrayal of my work *note sarcasm*. Not to mention its home, not a job. You don't sit there and nitpick over who's dick is longer, or who's done more work at home. You get it done and move on. "Many hands make light work" fits, and if you don't want her to be a spoiled brat and not do anything, you sweep while she does dishes or vice versa.

Hiding behind videos? He's not hiding behind anything. He's already dealt with her and this same disrespect in the past. The original "punishment" didn't work, obviously. Time for a new approach. My father did the same kind of shit to me, I learned real quick not to repeat that act.

Sure he's hiding behind a video. By making it and posting it for her friends to see, its a way of hitting back and humiliating her without having to do it face to face. I'm sure he has dealt with it before, and he'll deal with it again, because you don't get different results from doing the same thing over and over. That's great that it worked for you, fine, but its not a blanket cure.

I can't wait to hear this...tell me what clues you saw/heard to assert there's more to the story? AgentOblivious, indeed.

Jeremy

Well for one, you yourself pointed out that he's dealt with it before, and that he pointed out himself, so obviously taking her stuff and shutting her in isn't working that well. Second, that he's trying to humiliate her points to him being butt-hurt over the comments, and wanting to come out on top over it. He seems like the kind of guy who if he got knocked out, would come back later and slash your tires or bring some friends so that he ends up defending his pride. With that kind of an attitude, I bet they clash over all sorts of things.

Personally, having her begrudgingly do her chores and bitch after is better than having her not do them then say nothing but nice things about her parents. She's a teenaged girl, if you're around when her friends are there and you're involved in her life, they'll sort out who's bitching and who's telling the truth on their own.

[Boost4VR4]

My mom is dealing with something similar right now. Her husband has custody of his daughter who is 15 and has been doing unspeakable things. She basically has no "life" and comes home, does not watch tv, does not use her cell phone, and does her schoolwork. The boyfriend that she had was a D-Bag and my mom and her husband pretty much banned her completely from seeing him because she was doing things like drinking, oral sex all the time, etc. They have to lock all of their alcohol in the house because she was sneaking alcohol.

AgentOblivious, I am not sure what world you live in, but I see nothing wrong with this video. I think it is the ultimate punishment, to bear the burden of her friends at school spreading the word that her dad posted that video on her facebook. He isn't hiding behind the video, he is making a statement and making an example out of his daughter. Too often in this world do parents become completely complacent to their children's activities because they are so busy working. Parents these days don't MAKE time to parent, they just do what I call buy-out parenting. They buy their kids out to win over their trust or to get them to do things. Good parenting does not cost anything, only time. I don't have children, but I am telling you that if someone disrespected me like that, I would probably do something similar. And I would make them work off their newly destroyed belonging that of course, I bought, or have them get a job and pay it back.

I wholeheartedly agree with what this gentleman did and thumbs up for being a PARENT.

[AdamVR4]

Also, a list? Really? Its chores, not a game. I'd bust out a broom and some towels, and we'd do it together.

LOL, wow.

I do think he's over reacting, but AO is being dumb as F. She's got truly minimal chores. Why should he help her with them? That's her job at the house. You don't think HE has chores at the house? You really think SHE's helping him maintain the house and the yard? OH GOD HIGH SCHOOL IS SO HARD!!! HAHAHAHAHA

Seriously though... Teenage girl that does chores and goes to sleep at 10 PM? She's an ANGEL compared to what most teenagers are like! So she vented on facebook and twisted the truth to support her side. He's in IT... Block facebook from her computer and give her a non-administrative account for X amount of time. Make it clear how disrespectful that was and that she should be grateful for the life she has. Grounding her until college? LOL, c'mon man. What he did was funny, but it hurt him a lot more than it hurt her... Since he bought the damn laptop.

Just because a prior punishment didn't stop her from doing something similar year(s) later doesn't mean it wasn't sufficient punishment. Rinse and repeat, IMO.

Entertaining thread/video either way.

[AgentOblivious]

LOL, wow.

I do think he's over reacting, but AO is being dumb as F. She's got truly minimal chores. Why should he help her with them? That's her job at the house. You don't think HE has chores at the house? You really think SHE's helping him maintain the house and the yard? OH GOD HIGH SCHOOL IS SO HARD!!! HAHAHAHAHA

Thanks for that *note sarcasm*. Its not that doing it is hard, its that doing it together is leading by example. Having someone else helping is a positive motivator. Either way she's still doing the work.

Seriously though... Teenage girl that does chores and goes to sleep at 10 PM? She's an ANGEL compared to what most teenagers are like! So she vented on facebook and twisted the truth to support her side. He's in IT... Block facebook from her computer and give her a non-administrative account for X amount of time. Make it clear how disrespectful that was and that she should be grateful for the life she has. Grounding her until college? LOL, c'mon man. What he did was funny, but it hurt him a lot more than it hurt her... Since he bought the damn laptop.

Agreed 100%. It doesn't matter though, he got emotional over it, and that means he lost control.

[AdamVR4]

Thanks for that *note sarcasm*. Its not that doing it is hard, its that doing it together is leading by example. Having someone else helping is a positive motivator. Either way she's still doing the work.

You said he should be sweeping while she does the dishes. Those are both her chores. Clearly she's not doing the work if he's doing it for her.

If you were saying he should do one of his chores around the house while she does hers, OK, that's a lot less ridiculous.

Agreed 100%. It doesn't matter though, he got emotional over it, and that means he lost control.

He shouldn't have stooped to her level just to embarrass her on face book. He should have found another way to punish her and been above such a shitty act of public disrespect.

Speaking of, LOL, check this shit out: