Chuck Norris

[Ninja Performance]

Chuck Norris

-Chris

[J_Parker]

^ I see what you did there

[2fnloud]

Chuck Norris needs to shave by giving himself a roundhouse kick, because the only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

[Boomer3000]

God is best friends with chuck norris because he is afraid of him...

[beepbeep]

Champions are teh breakfast of Chuck Norris.

late to teh party, I know

[green-lantern]

Nice....................

[IPD]

chuck norris doesn't do push-ups; he pushes the world down.
there is no such thing as an earthquake; chuck norris is masturbating.
when chuck norris jumps in a pool, he doesn't get wet; the water gets him instead.
chuck norris once challenged lance armstrong to a "who has more testicles" contest; chuck norris won by 5.
tupac tried challenging chuck norris for the same thing; tupac....RIP.
chuck norris didn't choose to leave the air force; they politely asked him to go. if he'd stayed, everyone else would have been out of a job.
chuck norris once sold ebay to ebay....on ebay.

[enollava]

chuck norris doesn't do push-ups; he pushes the world down.
there is no such thing as an earthquake; chuck norris is masturbating.
when chuck norris jumps in a pool, he doesn't get wet; the water gets him instead.
chuck norris once challenged lance armstrong to a "who has more testicles" contest; chuck norris won by 5.
tupac tried challenging chuck norris for the same thing; tupac....RIP.
chuck norris didn't choose to leave the air force; they politely asked him to go. if he'd stayed, everyone else would have been out of a job.
chuck norris once sold ebay to ebay....on ebay.

Somebody else is just like Particle Man when it comes to water. Amazing.

[J_Parker]

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris' girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.