DO you ever wonder....

[stealthee]

I saw a girl today I would have blown some money on. I had to make a delivery today and I walked into the office of the company and the secretary was HOTTTTTTT.

Actually there was another girl later on too. Went out to dinner with my brother's family and my mom for my sister-in-law's birthday. Our waitress was hot as hell too.

[2fnloud]

[IPD]

I think Echo is just dating teeny-boppers. I would venture a guess that EVERYONE (men and women alike) under the age of ~28 just don't have the emotional maturity it takes to really handle a lasting relationship. And I say this as someone who got married at 21. It took a LOT of growing on my behalf to get where I am now. And on this end, even if I was single tomorrow, I couldn't date someone under ~28. There's just not enough perspective.

[Echo419]

I think Echo is just dating teeny-boppers. I would venture a guess that EVERYONE (men and women alike) under the age of ~28 just don't have the emotional maturity it takes to really handle a lasting relationship. And I say this as someone who got married at 21. It took a LOT of growing on my behalf to get where I am now. And on this end, even if I was single tomorrow, I couldn't date someone under ~28. There's just not enough perspective.

how did you know? generally I make it a rule to try and keep it between 20-25. time just isn't kind to most of these girls bodies.

but I have dated older and the 2 most batcrap crazy bitches I've ever been with were 30 and like 28(iirc). on the other hand the most stable and normal relationship I've ever been in was with a 35 year old japanses woman when I was 21 so there's that.

[IPD]

And the older women who are f'd up are the same women who wanted to date outlaw bikers when they were 18-21; they were NEVER good pickin's.

if you ever meet a woman who is trying to define value in her life via a relationship or children--RUN. i'm firmly convinced that the best person to be in a relationship with--male or female--is someone with a very secure sense of self. someone who doesn't need to amass conquests to fuel a need for self worth--nor someone who needs external sanction/approval for his/her actions.

p.s.
if you're worried about "time being kind", then don't EVER get married. stay single, and stop lamenting broken relationships--because you aren't ready. perhaps someday, when the prospect of a truly profound mental connection means more to you than carnal pleasure, then you'll be ready. i'm no authority on this, so feel free to disregard my advice. all i CAN tell you is that the mental connection between me and my wife of 14 years is incomprehensible to someone who hasn't been in a relationship longer than 5. and i'm sure that when we hit 30, it will be even stronger.

[donniekak]

It's a conundrum. Lots of single 18-25 year olds are trying to get by with looks, and most single 30+ year olds are single for a reason.
Lots of problems come down to a "grass is greener" thinking pattern. If you find someone, mutual attraction is there, and most importantly trust, it's worth working for. There is always going to be someone hotter, better in bed, makes more money, but there comes a point in time where trust, and a willingness to work on a relationship are the most important qualities.

[IPD]

It's a conundrum. Lots of single 18-25 year olds are trying to get by with looks, and most single 30+ year olds are single for a reason.
Lots of problems come down to a "grass is greener" thinking pattern. If you find someone, mutual attraction is there, and most importantly trust, it's worth working for. There is always going to be someone hotter, better in bed, makes more money, but there comes a point in time where trust, and a willingness to work on a relationship are the most important qualities.

This. It takes a degree of perspective to accept a "good enough" solution. Perfection is impossible--I don't care who you are. Couple married for 70 years have ALL had fights. You need to know yourself well enough to know what truly is a "deal-breaker" and what is "nice, but not required". Once you know that about yourself, you can more accurately gauge potential mates. If EVERYTHING falls into the "deal-breaker" category, you're simply not ready for a real relationship.

Oh, and as my wife is fond of saying, NEVER marry someone you'd be afraid to get divorced from. There's a LOT of truth in that.

[Jimvr4]

Great post donniekak. Mutual attraction and trust are key. So are acceptance and shared goals and values.

[sergechronos]

It's a conundrum. Lots of single 18-25 year olds are trying to get by with looks, and most single 30+ year olds are single for a reason.
Lots of problems come down to a "grass is greener" thinking pattern. If you find someone, mutual attraction is there, and most importantly trust, it's worth working for. There is always going to be someone hotter, better in bed, makes more money, but there comes a point in time where trust, and a willingness to work on a relationship are the most important qualities.

That said, there also comes a point where what you're looking for is a 95 year old multimillionaire woman with one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel

Otherwise, totally agree. Admittedly I don't have all the perspective most do (26, and about 4 different 2+ year relationships, so definitely something missing) but I have to agree that many people my age (guys and girls) are always going after the grass is greener in money and appearances and other things that can be lost pretty quickly. I do think that there is a fear that comes with longer relationships in your early twenties though, primarily because there is the fear that you've settled and because normally at that age most people are easily swayed by peers. Women in particular (no offense ladies, and anyone can correct me if I'm wrong) seem to be susceptible to being swayed by friends to leave someone and go live the single life..Guys on the other hand are often encouraged to either keep upgrading their woman, or to see multiple at once. In short, in your late teens and early twenties: peer pressure is a bitch and people are often seeking their acceptance and validation from external sources.

Perfection is impossible--I don't care who you are.

Perfection is impossible, whether alone or with someone. But if you work with someone towards being perfect for each other, you'll often find excellence and happiness I feel.

[Alex3000gt]

I'm not keeping track or anything, but I would have roughly..

$27,550.47


Given an annual return of 4% compounding yearly, and assuming payments amortized over 10 years.... $31,516.31


But who is keeping track, anyway?