Terrifying Sea Monster Found in New Jersey River

[j2k4]

Yeah, that's a lamprey, no doubt.

They take a heavy toll around here on the salmon and trout populations.

Funny thing - the DNR/DEQ occasionally plants a batch of sterile lampreys in an effort to control their numbers, and one of the places they plant them is in the river that runs outside my door.

Once they dump them in the river, it takes them a while to vacate the area and do their thing.

One day last summer, here comes the fisheries tanker to make a deposit in the river - they do their thing, leave, and a bit later here comes a crowd of kids wanting to swim off the bridge.

All of a sudden I'm hearing what sounds like a bunch of kids having a really good time, and I can faintly hear a kind of slapping sound, but hey, I'm busy, so I ignore this.

About two hours later, the kids are gone, and I hear an adult voice cussing up a storm - I look over, and here's a DNR officer steaming my way mf-ing like a madman - he starts yelling about "WHO DID THIS?"

I asked what he was talking about, and we walk back over to the bridge to look up river - the kids had been grabbing up the lampreys and killing them by slamming them on the flat rocks alongside the water - there were several hundred of them laying around collecting flies, and he wants me to explain how I "could let this happen!!"

I told him I had better things to do than supervise kids swimming (even though I've fished a dozen or two out of the river over the years), and also that I had no idea they were planting lampreys (fingerlings would not have been an issue), and that any asshole should know that anyone who spends any time on a waterway knows that killing lampreys is a good thing, so how were these kids supposed to know if the officers never told anyone?

He told me he was going to cite me for negligence, and I told him in the end he would be sorry and I would be thankful if he chose that route.

He spent a half-hour on the phone with his boss before driving away - I learned later he earned himself a transfer to Detroit over that deal.

[green-lantern]

I think I saw a show on that one time (releasing them)

[Granny]

I don't get why they release them in the water.
What benefit is it?

[j2k4]

I don't get why they release them in the water.
What benefit is it?

They can't breed, Karen.

Or, more accurately, they can breed all they want, but are barren.

[Granny]

Yea I had to google it earlier
It says they sterilize the bigger ones and they breed instead of the smaller males.

Sounds like the same thing steroids do to men.

[93STLTH]

He spent a half-hour on the phone with his boss before driving away - I learned later he earned himself a transfer to Detroit over that deal.

Lesson to be learned... you f*ck up and you'll end up in Detroit!!