Chuck Norris and Superman once fought on a bet and the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris is the reason waldo is hiding.
Next! :D
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Chuck Norris and Superman once fought on a bet and the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris is the reason waldo is hiding.
Next! :D
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake, after three days of pain and agony....
The rattlesnake died!
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a condom, because there's no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
When the Boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
The only reason the lion is the king of the jungle, is because Chuck Norris has no need for it.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the shit out of it!
Chuck Norris is the reason why there is a hole in donuts, it's the only way he could hold one without crushing it!
Eric
Chuck Norris doesn't pause, time is waiting for him!
Eric
Chuck Norris does not need Twitter...he is already following you.
There is no theory of evolution, only the creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Chuck Norris doesn't know how to read, he has no need to, he stares the book down until it gives him the information he wants.
Chuck Norris doesn't answer to the phone, the phone answer to him.
Eric
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was canceled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
did you know that chuck norris was born on march 10th 1940 and just turned 71 years old?
amidoinitrite?
jesus may be able to walk on water, but chuck norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet!
Edit!
Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's just by writing Chuck Norris on every line!
LOL
When Chuck Norris was born he drove is mom home from the hospital!
Chuck Norris once visited the Bermuda Triangle. No one has heard from the Triangle since.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f67LgpJBPPE
Chuck Norris didn't break the windshield of that Dodge stealth, the glass saw him coming and moved out of the way.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his Dad did.
:lo5l:Quote:
Originally Posted by aaronatstate
The result from using google to search for "Chuck Norris".
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...huckNorris.jpg
Underneath China it says "Made in Chuck Norris"
Chuck Norris killed 2 stones with 1 bird
All the dinosaurs owed Chuck Norris money. They didn't paid him back.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Now theres Giraffes.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two"
Chuck Norris is the reason why they invented diapers for adults!
Eric
maybe i should get a spark plug cover with "CHUCK NORRIS" engraved in it to get more hp..
The internals of the 6G72 would not be able to handle the AWESOMENESS of such an item.Quote:
Originally Posted by Danube_3KGT
bent valves and spun bearings galore!
Chuck Norris turned Medusa to stone.
Just before the doctors started to perform a C-section on his mother to give birth to him, Chuck Norris decided to help the doctors out, and cut himself out of his mother.
Chuck Norris can build the perfect 3s but then realized us losers wouldn't have much to do or talk about if he did.
Outer space exists because it's too afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world an punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademark names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris didn't break the 3/S, it played dead...
Chuck Norris
-Chris
^ I see what you did there :suspect:
Chuck Norris needs to shave by giving himself a roundhouse kick, because the only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
God is best friends with chuck norris because he is afraid of him...
Champions are teh breakfast of Chuck Norris.
late to teh party, I know
Nice....................
chuck norris doesn't do push-ups; he pushes the world down.
there is no such thing as an earthquake; chuck norris is masturbating.
when chuck norris jumps in a pool, he doesn't get wet; the water gets him instead.
chuck norris once challenged lance armstrong to a "who has more testicles" contest; chuck norris won by 5.
tupac tried challenging chuck norris for the same thing; tupac....RIP.
chuck norris didn't choose to leave the air force; they politely asked him to go. if he'd stayed, everyone else would have been out of a job.
chuck norris once sold ebay to ebay....on ebay.
Somebody else is just like Particle Man when it comes to water. Amazing.Quote:
Originally Posted by inperfectdarkness
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Chuck Norris' girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.