Parenting WIN

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Originally Posted by AgentOblivious

My manager works from 5 am - 2:30, I usually work nights and weekends...of course my performance reviews are an accurate portrayal of my work *note sarcasm*. Not to mention its home, not a job. You don't sit there and nitpick over who's dick is longer, or who's done more work at home. You get it done and move on. "Many hands make light work" fits, and if you don't want her to be a spoiled brat and not do anything, you sweep while she does dishes or vice versa.

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That's not even remotely what I'm talking about, and you know it. A review as in, AgentOblivious, we've given you a verbal and written warning about this. The next step is termination. That is keeping score. You don't gallyvant through life with a clean slate, despite your previous mishaps.

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Originally Posted by AgentOblivious

Sure he's hiding behind a video. By making it and posting it for her friends to see, its a way of hitting back and humiliating her without having to do it face to face. I'm sure he has dealt with it before, and he'll deal with it again, because you don't get different results from doing the same thing over and over. That's great that it worked for you, fine, but its not a blanket cure.

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See BaadVR4's response. You're quite insane if you think that guy isn't going to confront her face to face. I'm going to venture it starts with "Do I have your attention, now?" It's cute that you automatically assume it escalates into a knock down drag out. Judge much?

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Originally Posted by AgentOblivious

Well for one, you yourself pointed out that he's dealt with it before, and that he pointed out himself, so obviously taking her stuff and shutting her in isn't working that well. Second, that he's trying to humiliate her points to him being butt-hurt over the comments, and wanting to come out on top over it. He seems like the kind of guy who if he got knocked out, would come back later and slash your tires or bring some friends so that he ends up defending his pride. With that kind of an attitude, I bet they clash over all sorts of things.

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What point do you think you just made with your #1, other than my point? Yes, he's dealt with it before. Grounding her did all of nothing, obviously. So, now, he's on to a new method of getting her attention, coupled with the previous method as well.

Obviously divorced, and mommy is on board with it, too. Sounds like a solid environment to me.

Public humiliation has become a very accepted method of punishment. So much so, that this has been used in the court of law when dealing with minors. No different than when someone feels wronged buying out of the classifieds on a forum. You approach the person, privately. If they won't deal with you...you take it public. AKA, getting their attention, and feedback from others.

#2, you're looking at this as a game. It appears the father is not. He seems concerned, and genuinely going out of his way to teach this girl common respect, decency, and a good work ethic. If it takes a viral video to get her attention, so be it. As you said "you don't get different results from doing the same thing over and over." ;)

Jeremy

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Originally Posted by AdamVR4

You said he should be sweeping while she does the dishes. Those are both her chores. Clearly she's not doing the work if he's doing it for her.

If you were saying he should do one of his chores around the house while she does hers, OK, that's a lot less ridiculous.

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I guess I could have explained it better. I didn't mean that she got out of helping out, its that they work together to get all the chores done (not just hers) together.

AO doesn't know shit about raising a kid. Hell AO doesn't know shit about life.

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Originally Posted by HilbillyHomeboy

That's not even remotely what I'm talking about, and you know it. A review as in, AgentOblivious, we've given you a verbal and written warning about this. The next step is termination. That is keeping score. You don't gallyvant through life with a clean slate, despite your previous mishaps.





See BaadVR4's response. You're quite insane if you think that guy isn't going to confront her face to face. I'm going to venture it starts with "Do I have your attention, now?" It's cute that you automatically assume it escalates into a knock down drag out. Judge much?



What point do you think you just made with your #1, other than my point? Yes, he's dealt with it before. Grounding her did all of nothing, obviously. So, now, he's on to a new method of getting her attention, coupled with the previous method as well.

Obviously divorced, and mommy is on board with it, too. Sounds like a solid environment to me.

Public humiliation has become a very accepted method of punishment. So much so, that this has been used in the court of law when dealing with minors. No different than when someone feels wronged buying out of the classifieds on a forum. You approach the person, privately. If they won't deal with you...you take it public. AKA, getting their attention, and feedback from others.

#2, you're looking at this as a game. It appears the father is not. He seems concerned, and genuinely going out of his way to teach this girl common respect, decency, and a good work ethic. If it takes a viral video to get her attention, so be it. As you said "you don't get different results from doing the same thing over and over." ;)

Jeremy

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I can certainly understand your point of view and you may very well be right. I think the difference in opinions really boil down to assumptions we're making about their relationship, her behavior, etc.

If she's truly a shitty teenager and he was left with no options, then there's nothing wrong with what he did. I suppose the only thing he could have done differently would be to donate the laptop to some charity, but this was undoubtedly a lot more satisfying.

I was a pretty crappy teenager for a couple years, but my sister was non-stop torture for my parents. She definitely got violent... Kicked my dad in the throat, the groin... With combat boots. She cut herself up and down her arms. Who knows how much money my parents spent putting her in correctional/rehab facilities. Similar to the "true story" AO mentioned earlier, she did run away from home for weeks on end and live with a drug dealer. Her boyfriends were all total scum. She was a nightmare from age 12 to 17, when she scared herself straight... In other words, she got lucky she survived her own stupidity. My parents couldn't do anything to control her and were constantly working with police to find her after she'd break out of her room. She's still paying for it today, since she missed out on so much of her education.

That's why I say this girl is a relative angel and perhaps the parent should tone it down a notch. Perspective, or something.

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Originally Posted by AdamVR4

He shouldn't have stooped to her level just to embarrass her on face book. He should have found another way to punish her and been above such a shitty act of public disrespect.

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I think that's the disconnect, stooping to her level. I don't view it that way. At a bare minimum, I think it's an excellent lesson in "be careful what you say/do, because it just might get back around".

I found this gem on an extremely liberal, hivemind type forum, and there's next to no dissenting opinions. I found that interesting.

Jeremy

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Originally Posted by HilbillyHomeboy

That's not even remotely what I'm talking about, and you know it. A review as in, AgentOblivious, we've given you a verbal and written warning about this. The next step is termination. That is keeping score. You don't gallyvant through life with a clean slate, despite your previous mishaps.

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Like a write-up? In that case, I've only ever been written up twice: #1 was a blanket write-up for everyone who was closing, because management wanted to look tough over a few people dicking around. It didn't work, and as I understand it mine was written up because I had stayed late that night to cover for someone else. #2 was because I decided to do something about faulty wiring that was a danger to staff (and a possible fire hazard), because the weekend managers didn't want to deal with it and left it for two days without relaying the message to those that were coming in for a shift. Needless to say they have a very angry letter attached to it in my file. I did renos prior to this job, so I know what I can do and what I can't, and all I did was take the cover off a box to check it after the manager refused to turn off the power to it, "because it was too much work", and afterwards she not only shut the power off but had the bad wiring fixed within the hour.

Aside from my personal experience, score means jack shit if management does or doesn't like you, because they will give you extra chances/fewer chances based on that alone, in some cases. Life isn't always fair that way.

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See BaadVR4's response. You're quite insane if you think that guy isn't going to confront her face to face. I'm going to venture it starts with "Do I have your attention, now?" It's cute that you automatically assume it escalates into a knock down drag out. Judge much?

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Lets he him actually have a conversation about it to her, instead of what'll undoubtedly start as him 'laying down the law' and it'll either be her shutting up and taking it out somewhere else (oh jeez, won't be facebook this time), or it'll be a shouting match. People judge all the time; you're no exception.

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What point do you think you just made with your #1, other than my point? Yes, he's dealt with it before. Grounding her did all of nothing, obviously. So, now, he's on to a new method of getting her attention, coupled with the previous method as well.

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He's playing the same game, just upping the ante. The only thing new is him going out and trashing her on facebook while he shoots a perfectly good computer to burn off steam. To me that's like torching and ex's stuff.

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Obviously divorced, and mommy is on board with it, too. Sounds like a solid environment to me.

Public humiliation has become a very accepted method of punishment. So much so, that this has been used in the court of law when dealing with minors. No different than when someone feels wronged buying out of the classifieds on a forum. You approach the person, privately. If they won't deal with you...you take it public. AKA, getting their attention, and feedback from others.

#2, you're looking at this as a game. It appears the father is not. He seems concerned, and genuinely going out of his way to teach this girl common respect, decency, and a good work ethic. If it takes a viral video to get her attention, so be it. As you said "you don't get different results from doing the same thing over and over." ;)

Jeremy

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There's a difference between what the courts do and what he did. He went out and dragged out a personal message all over the internet...heck if he had grabbed it from her personal diary, would that still be okay?

Usually what I've seen from sentencing is community service whereby the offender has to publicly own up, ie go around telling high school kids why they shouldn't drive drunk, with the car they trashed in tow. If he had made her give an apology on facebook, or something similar, that would be in the same league. This is just trash talking.

now a days public humiliation is all you can do to kids when you try to do it privately and cant get it through to em. you spank your kid anymore and you'll end up in jail.. defiantly if theyre willing to talk about you like that publicly anyway. all theyd have to do is tell people you beat them

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Originally Posted by HilbillyHomeboy

I found this gem on an extremely liberal, hivemind type forum, and there's next to no dissenting opinions. I found that interesting.

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Group-think? It's impossible for me to have a strong opinion one way or the other because so much is unknown.

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Originally Posted by AdamVR4

I can certainly understand your point of view and you may very well be right. I think the difference in opinions really boil down to assumptions we're making about their relationship, her behavior, etc.

If she's truly a shitty teenager and he was left with no options, then there's nothing wrong with what he did. I suppose the only thing he could have done differently would be to donate the laptop to some charity, but this was undoubtedly a lot more satisfying.

I was a pretty crappy teenager for a couple years, but my sister was non-stop torture for my parents. She definitely got violent... Kicked my dad in the throat, the groin... With combat boots. She cut herself up and down her arms. Who knows how much money my parents spent putting her in correctional/rehab facilities. Similar to the "true story" AO mentioned earlier, she did run away from home for weeks on end and live with a drug dealer. Her boyfriends were all total scum. She was a nightmare from age 12 to 17, when she scared herself straight... In other words, she got lucky she survived her own stupidity. My parents couldn't do anything to control her and were constantly working with police to find her after she'd break out of her room. She's still paying for it today, since she missed out on so much of her education.

That's why I say this girl is a relative angel and perhaps the parent should tone it down a notch. Perspective, or something.

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Oh yeah, there's certainly assumptions being made concerning her, her father, their relationship, etc. Although, I found it reassuring that the divorced parents are both agreeing on the line of action.

Admittedly, blasting the laptop was probably overkill. I agree donating it might have accomplished the same goal. But, I'm sure his line of action will get some major attention, and that seems what he's really after...her undivided attention.

The thing is I see shithead kids doing this same thing allll the time. The parents don't monitor their FB page. That is wholly unacceptable, in my world. Here's a recent example, by a 13 year old girl, "eat that pussy like cold pizza", was a status she posted(she thinks she's slick, hides behind "it's song lyrics" when she gets called out). Her father is as redneck as they come, which is part of the problem, he's impaired when it comes to the internet, and what not. Every other day it's, fuck you, fuck this, fuck my dad, fuck my mom, you couldn't walk a day in my shoes, blah blah blah. Pisses me off, because this little bitch gets pretty much everything she wants, and has very little responsibility. While her dad is a vet who lives off disability, and tries to do as much for her as he can. It sucks, I want to tell him about this nonsense, but it isn't my place, and I don't want in the middle. :(

Jeremy

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Originally Posted by HilbillyHomeboy

Oh yeah, there's certainly assumptions being made concerning her, her father, their relationship, etc. Although, I found it reassuring that the divorced parents are both agreeing on the line of action.

Admittedly, blasting the laptop was probably overkill. I agree donating it might have accomplished the same goal. But, I'm sure his line of action will get some major attention, and that seems what he's really after...her undivided attention.

The thing is I see shithead kids doing this same thing allll the time. The parents don't monitor their FB page. That is wholly unacceptable, in my world. Here's a recent example, by a 13 year old girl, "eat that pussy like cold pizza", was a status she posted(she thinks she's slick, hides behind "it's song lyrics" when she gets called out). Her father is as redneck as they come, which is part of the problem, he's impaired when it comes to the internet, and what not. Every other day it's, fuck you, fuck this, fuck my dad, fuck my mom, you couldn't walk a day in my shoes, blah blah blah. Pisses me off, because this little bitch gets pretty much everything she wants, and has very little responsibility. While her dad is a vet who lives off disability, and tries to do as much for her as he can. It sucks, I want to tell him about this nonsense, but it isn't my place, and I don't want in the middle. :(

Jeremy

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It's pretty fucking sad that so much of our relationships revolve around facebook. Glad I never got on it and my wife barely uses it....... That will sure make for some interesting discussions with a future AdamVR4 Jr.