So partisan it CAN'T be political - but it IS funny - an interview with the Obamas
Michelle Obama: “It’s been a challenge. But one of the things we do best, along with the other things that we do best, is meet challenges.”
President Obama: “Has the level of love surprised me? Not really. People keep saying, ‘Oh, the press loves you, oh, the American people love you,’ and I say, ‘Fine,’ but first and foremost, I love me. I love me very very much. And that’s what keeps you going.”
We caught up with the First Couple on an Air Force One flight over New York City.
NEWSWEEK. So, does it still feel strange to be flying around on Air Force One, running a nation and a large auto company?
PRESIDENT OBAMA. Strange? No, not really.
NEWSWEEK. This was your destiny?
PRESIDENT OBAMA. Look, everyone is put on earth for a reason. I’m here to transform a nation and build a better mid-size sedan. Michelle is here to support me and help raise our children. You’re here to interview me. The American people are here to vote for me. We all play our part. This isn’t a “me” situation.
NEWSWEEK. So you always knew you’d be on the cover of Newsweek?
PRESIDENT OBAMA. Well, not seventeen times!
MICHELLE OBAMA. Nineteen, actually.
NEWSWEEK. Well, twenty, after this one!
MICHELLE OBAMA. Hahahahahahahahahaha!
NEWSWEEK. Hahahahahhahahahahahahaha!
PRESIDENT OBAMA. Twenty? So the other thirty-two are of . . . what? Trends and things? Are you sure that’s wise? I mean, for consistency’s sake . . .
NEWSWEEK. Hahahahahahahahahaha!
MICHELLE OBAMA. Hahahahahahahahaha!
PRESIDENT OBAMA. Wasn’t really kidding.
NEWSWEEK. Mr. President, look down the road a bit for me, if you don’t mind. Where are you in a year?
PRESIDENT OBAMA. Well, that’s an excellent question. And I think about that a lot — where I’ll be, what I’ll be doing well, what I’ll be loved for — and it seems to me that a year from now I’ll be on the cover of Newsweek, maybe in front of a picture of the new GM car I designed, maybe talking to some of the people in line for surgery at the hospital, maybe helping a newly released prisoner from Guantanamo open up his first UPS Store in Visalia, California. Really, the sky’s the limit.
NEWSWEEK. That’s a wonderful answer.
MICHELLE OBAMA. But all of that means there’s still a lot of work ahead.
PRESIDENT OBAMA. Right, right. Of course.
MICHELLE OBAMA. A year from now, I’ll be wearing flats. Just an FYI to the buyers out there.
NEWSWEEK. Mr. President, critics of your critics have suggested that your critics are racist fearmongers, right-wing reactionaries, flat-earthers and Jesus freaks, gun nuts, serial killers, Rush Limbaugh cult worshippers, and small businessmen. What do you say to those critics of your critics?
PRESIDENT OBAMA. Well, look, I’ve learned in my six years in politics not to get all bogged down in responding to every little thing that the critics of my critics might say. So I try not to engage, frankly. Critics of my critics have their own agenda, their own voices. They can speak for themselves. As I said, my goals are to nationalize health care, free the prisoners in Guantanamo Bay, and build a popular family-sized sedan. I’ll let the critics of my critics do what it is they do best.
NEWSWEEK. Mrs. Obama, does it bother you what the detractors of some of your husband’s political enemies have pointed out? That he’s made a few mistakes?
PRESIDENT OBAMA. Wait. What?
NEWSWEEK. Very small ones, sir.
MICHELLE OBAMA. No, it really doesn’t bother me. Look, this is a business, okay? And sometimes it’s important — look, we’ve got to keep a useful dialogue going, which is hard when it’s all just one loud cheering section, right?
PRESIDENT OBAMA. Not following you.
MICHELLE OBAMA. I mean, look, sometimes it’s useful to admit to small, easily forgivable mistakes. That makes the critics of our detractors seem fair.
PRESIDENT OBAMA. I’m lost. Small whats?
NEWSWEEK. I’m lost, too.
MICHELLE OBAMA. I just mean that admitting to small imperfections is a great way to highlight what is, in fact, perfect about you.
PRESIDENT OBAMA. Not following you at all.
NEWSWEEK. Let’s change the subject. How about Sasha and Malia? How’s the adjustment for them?
PRESIDENT OBAMA. They love me very very much. That’s the important thing.
NEWSWEEK. This has been such a great interview! Kill me now! I’m in Heaven!
PRESIDENT OBAMA. If you’re in Heaven right now, who does that make me?
NEWSWEEK. Exactly!
MICHELLE OBAMA. Okay, okay. We’ve been circling the Statue of Liberty for a couple of hours now. Any more questions?
NEWSWEEK. Let me flip through my notes here . . . nope, nothing.
MICHELLE OBAMA. The economy?
NEWSWEEK. Nope.
MICHELLE OBAMA. Spending?
NEWSWEEK. Um . . . no.
MICHELLE OBAMA. The debt? Iraq?
NEWSWEEK. No and . . . no.
MICHELLE OBAMA. Health care? Nancy Pelosi? Immigration? Gay marriage? Torture memos? North Korea? Chinese bondholders? TARP funds? Sotomayor? California’s budget crisis? Iranian nukes? Israeli elections?
NEWSWEEK. No, no, no, um . . . no, nope, not so much, uh-uh, nah, no, negatory, no, and not today.
MICHELLE OBAMA. Okay then.
NEWSWEEK. Can I sit here quietly for a moment and just bask?
PRESIDENT OBAMA. That’s exactly what the guy from Time said.
