Mother Inlaw Problems..

[Danube_3KGT]

So, I'm living with my fiance and 5 month old son at what is basically my mother in-laws old rent house. Shes not charging rent, but instead I pay for up keeps and what not.. I pay all the bills, buy all the groceries, and even took over all the stuff of my fiances she was still paying. I have a small car port on the side of the house that my 3000GT is jacked up under while I work on the engine right next to where my fiance parks the Tahoe I am paying for for her. Well Tonight I come home and she (my fiance) informs me that her mother texted her to inform me that my "broke down" car needs to be fixed or gone soon and if I decide to buy another car (I've been looking for a project car) it needs to be parked at my step dads house (my parents divorced so he's not even technically related to me anymore) At the same time I have a rusted out shitty Corvair body sitting in my back yard she wont let me sell or get rid of cause its her sons, who moved to Michigan years ago to get away from her.. Anyone else have problems like this or am I just lucky?

[onebadmollafolla]

Well, to be fair, it is her house. It seems like you are throwing in a share of contribution. Truth be told, I'd try and move out into an apartment for the time being. Regardless of anything, ultimate decision comes down to the home owner, like it or not. Not really a matter of who is on who's side.

[vr4chick]

I'd move out. Let your MIL pay for the house if thats the way she wants to act. Your car isn't causing any problems.

[j2k4]

Your assumption must be that she wants you to leave.

Give her what she wants, and ask your fiance to keep things with her mother "light" while you make arrangements .

Ignore any begging that may occur.

[Danube_3KGT]

would love to move.. if I could afford it.. the fact that I owe car payments on here daughters car, with her insurance and shit and that I only work makes it hard.. defiantly on a government salary

[green-lantern]

I’ve been in the situation, if she wants to tell you what to do and you’re not paying rent then you have to do it or move out. I moved out

Even if you offer to pay rent she is still going to want to tell you what to do. Hell MIL will do that no matter what but if you don't rely on her at all you can tell her to get bent.

Edit: I'd have my fiancée text her back that you guys are moving out.

[j2k4]

You might intimate to your fiance that her moms is becoming overbearing, and the only way you can see to alleviate the burden is to deal her Tahoe so you can move.

She might take matters in hand.

[green-lantern]

would love to move.. if I could afford it.. the fact that I owe car payments on here daughters car, with her insurance and shit and that I only work makes it hard.. defiantly on a government salary

Honestly you shouldn’t have bought it right now. Financial independence is a great thing. Buy a cheap beater until you can afford a car payment.

[j2k4]

Honestly you shouldn’t have bought it right now. Financial independence is a great thing. Buy a cheap beater until you can afford a car payment.

There's that, too. ^^^

[UTRacerX9]

It's possible that the car simply isn't allowed to be parked like that. In my neighborhood, a car up on jacks is only allowed inside the garage. Not on the driveway, (even though we have alleys here) and certainly not in the driveway if you have a front facing garage. It doesn't look good, and neighbors may be complaining to her about it.

[green-lantern]

It's possible that the car simply isn't allowed to be parked like that. In my neighborhood, a car up on jacks is only allowed inside the garage. Not on the driveway, (even though we have alleys here) and certainly not in the driveway if you have a front facing garage. It doesn't look good, and neighbors may be complaining to her about it.

Yep, a lot of places are like that. If it was behind the house (like the other car) then it might not matter.

[a2j]

I'd move out. Even if it meant to sell 3/S or what ever else.

[dbest671]

Do you live within city limits? If so, "broke down" cars in driveways usually will get some kind of code violations, especially if it is not registered or insured.

And if you cannot afford to move, then you have to do what is needed to stay in that particular house.

[BaadVR4]

This is an argument you will never win............at least not on your own. The only way to win this argument is to have your fiance 110% on your side and against her mother. Not a very likely scenario. Unfortunately, if your fiance isn't willing to take your side over her mother's in this instance, she's not likely to ever take your side. From the info you supplied, we can't tell what (if any) issues your mother in law may have with neighbors/authorities over your "broken down" car. But you made it sound like your mother in law just doesn't like you and/or your car, so she told daughter to give you the message. That neatly put daughter on mom's side, isolating you and making you the scapegoat. I'd say it's time to find out where your fiance's loyalty lies. If it's not with you, I'd suggest you reconsider your choice of fiance. Just my 1.5 cents worth.

[AdamVR4]

You've got space in the back yard for cars and you're leaving it in the driveway to be vandalized / have parts stolen? Maybe you can fashion a tarp or something in the back to cover your 3S.

[Danube_3KGT]

My 3/S doesnt look like a broke down car. The engine isn't in it, but other wise from the street you can't even tell.. Also the area I live in isnt like that.. (I kind of live in a ghetto) and most all the houses have some sort of broken down car lol, but like I said unless youre on my back porch looking at my car you can't even tell its not running.. My fiancee and I have talked about this before and I always get a "thats just how she is" reply. It got to the point once I finally told her off, which was the last time that I had heard from here till now . Told her if she didn't stop trying to make me look like a bad guy I'd prove to her what all I really do.. including the new cell phone my fiancee has that I pay for, and her car payments, and her tags, and her insurance, bills for the house and shit like that (even work and let me fiancee not work while she goes to college and i wait to get my degree later).. Pretty much it just seems like every 2 months her mom gets bit by the bitch bug and decides to take it out on me..

[AdamVR4]

Really making me appreciate the family I married into... Thanks.

[EZnTn]

........my "broke down" car needs to be fixed or gone soon and if I decide to buy another car (I've been looking for a project car) it needs to be parked elsewhere At the same time I have a rusted out shitty Corvair body sitting in my (her) back yard she wont let me sell or get rid of cause its her son's, who moved to Michigan years ago to get away from her.. Anyone else have problems like this or am I just lucky?
I think you need to speak with her and let her know you are working as fast as you can to get the GT back on the road.
At the same time, ask why she's so anxious for you to get it up and either running or gone.
Additionally, let her know the extent you are supporting her daughter, and if you are "evicted" you might not be able to take care of her in the manner she's become accustomed.
I too, was fortunate to marry a woman with a wonderful, understanding mother.

[Granny]

When I was married to my first Husband I didn't have a MIL but instead I was blessed with the SIL from hell.
Sorry to tell you this but it probably won't make any difference what you or your fiance say to her she'll probably never ever go away and let you live happily ever after.
Especially if you get the "that's just how she is" line.
Letting you live in the house is just another way for her to controll your life.
I understand you have to do what you need to make ends meet but get the hell out of there as soon as you can and try to put some personal boundaries between your new family and her.
Someone like that can cause a lot of tension in a relationship.
I know..I divorced them both.

[green-lantern]

My 3/S doesnt look like a broke down car. The engine isn't in it, but other wise from the street you can't even tell.. Also the area I live in isnt like that.. (I kind of live in a ghetto) and most all the houses have some sort of broken down car lol, but like I said unless youre on my back porch looking at my car you can't even tell its not running.. My fiancee and I have talked about this before and I always get a "thats just how she is" reply. It got to the point once I finally told her off, which was the last time that I had heard from here till now . Told her if she didn't stop trying to make me look like a bad guy I'd prove to her what all I really do.. including the new cell phone my fiancee has that I pay for, and her car payments, and her tags, and her insurance, bills for the house and shit like that (even work and let me fiancee not work while she goes to college and i wait to get my degree later).. Pretty much it just seems like every 2 months her mom gets bit by the bitch bug and decides to take it out on me..

Look man all that stuff you are talking about paying for is stuff you pay for when you are married. If she keeps on about the car then tell the wife/GF you are going to get rid of all that stuff so you can afford to live somewhere else. Kind of like "if the car goes then we/me are going with it". If she doesn't want to tell mom to STFU or back you in this decision then just save yourself the trouble of a future divorce and dump her.

[AdamVR4]

Look man all that stuff you are talking about paying for is stuff you pay for when you are married. If she keeps on about the car then tell the wife/GF you are going to get rid of all that stuff so you can afford to live somewhere else. Kind of like "if the car goes then we/me are going with it". If she doesn't want to tell mom to STFU or back you in this decision then just save yourself the trouble of a future divorce and dump her.

Agreed, it's inexcusable for her to expect those luxuries and not even have a part time job. Taking the bus could have been a valuable, humbling experience for her.

And if her degree isn't in something truly useful that will get her a job as soon as she graduates, that ^^ goes double. Please tell me you're not putting your life on hold so she can focus all of her attention on a history degree...

[91stealthrt2]

Sounds like having a kid may be what is keeping you together. But unless the family is completely understanding and rational on both sides things are going to be tough. Hell I lived with my in-laws when I came back from school so me and my wife could save money for the down payment on our house. And thankfully we got along great and they didn't hold them helping us out, over our heads. My step-mom would have and I could have never moved back in with them. Family is a wonderful thing if you treat each other like it.

Also, IF you can't even afford your own place to live having the 3S is probably a bad financial move... How long until you can afford to get it fixed?

[BaadVR4]

Look man all that stuff you are talking about paying for is stuff you pay for when you are married. If she keeps on about the car then tell the wife/GF you are going to get rid of all that stuff so you can afford to live somewhere else. Kind of like "if the car goes then we/me are going with it". If she doesn't want to tell mom to STFU or back you in this decision then just save yourself the trouble of a future divorce and dump her.

Exactly. The issue is power and control. The car is just the current excuse for running your life. Seriously, get out NOW while it is still relatively cheap financially. Just my 1.5 cents worth.

[dtc2002]

Could you talk her into just letting you put a cover over the car until it is done? Kind of a compromise? Then when you are done with it, GTFO as fast as you can. I lived with my in-laws for a while (before I got married)... that was an interesting experience. Made me very thankful for what I had before, and what I have now.

[Danube_3KGT]

Update: So, today my fiancee gets a text on her phone from her mom asking if I'll load her push mower into my truck and bring it over (she left it here last time we mowed, she came to get it yesterday morning but didnt want to wake us up so left without it..) I was suppose to be taking my mower about an hour away so a friend could rebuild it so I was busy trying to get my engine in parts so I could load it into the bed of the truck and take it. I ended up having tool problems (I snapped 3 sockets with my torque wrench) and told her mom that I had an engine in the bed of my truck and wouldn't have room, besides the fact that she'd be about 45 minutes out of the way.. She got a reply that was something like "Figures, I knew he wouldn't do shit for me." I then took my fiancee out to dinner, since her bdays coming up and I have to work that night.. I come home a few hours later and her mom mowed my yard.. wth

[2fnloud]

Update: So, today my fiancee gets a text on her phone from her mom asking if I'll load her push mower into my truck and bring it over (she left it here last time we mowed, she came to get it yesterday morning but didnt want to wake us up so left without it..) I was suppose to be taking my mower about an hour away so a friend could rebuild it so I was busy trying to get my engine in parts so I could load it into the bed of the truck and take it. I ended up having tool problems (I snapped 3 sockets with my torque wrench) and told her mom that I had an engine in the bed of my truck and wouldn't have room, besides the fact that she'd be about 45 minutes out of the way.. She got a reply that was something like "Figures, I knew he wouldn't do shit for me." I then took my fiancee out to dinner, since her bdays coming up and I have to work that night.. I come home a few hours later and her mom mowed my yard.. wth

She mowed HER yard.

[Danube_3KGT]

the thing is, she came over and mowed it so that she can yell at me for not mowing it.. even though she knows I wasn't home and had planned on doing it.. just blows my mind..

[BaadVR4]

And you want to perpetuate this relationship why??????????????????????????????????????????????? And, God forgive me for saying this, but everything you've posted SCREAMS that daughter is just like mother.


the thing is, she came over and mowed it so that she can yell at me for not mowing it.. even though she knows I wasn't home and had planned on doing it.. just blows my mind..

[Chris@Rvengeperformance]

get away now.

You shouldn't be paying for anything until you are married.

[BaadVR4]

get away now.

You shouldn't be paying for anything until you are married.

Except for the baby.

[Macky]

Im with everyone here. Get the F*&^ OUT!

I know its hard, but I'd give the fiancee an ultimatum - her mom or you. If she chooses her mom (likely in this case), break up with your fiancee, get rid of all the debt holding you down (car payment, rent, 3/S) and just pay the child support and move out on your own.