Things a man should know how to do.

[green-lantern]

This morning on my way to work a radio show had a list of things a man should know how to do that some doofus had made. It sucked and they were making fun of it. Anyway I thought it might be fun to make our own.

I'll start and update this post with whatever you post


Change a flat tire
Start a campfire
Hug a Honey Badger
Know how to keep house....or know how to get a woman to do it ;)
Do an oil change
Know how to drink and make a margarita
bait a hook
throw a baseball/football
cook a steak on a grill
slap a ho
save a ho
get 30 lives on the NES game Contra
plant something
grow something
know the rules of the of the big 3 sports
eat your vegtables
say your prayers
be a real American
know how to drive a manual trans
Kill a spider
Open jars
Balance a checkbook
Defend yourself and family
Read a map
Admit when you're wrong
Survive without modern day amenities
Weld
Build a home AKA (a shelter) and do basic home repairs (Drywall, electrical, plumbing, Etc)
Budget effectively
Carry on an intelligent conversation
Build something from a design/blueprints
Dress for an occasion (ie. tie a tie or wear a suit as the circumstance warrants)
Give a toast
Accept constructive criticism
Recognize and improve your own shortcomings
Know when he's had too much to drink... or when to STOP
How to satisfy a woman
Know when the words "Yes dear" and "OK dear" are the only words that need to spoken at a certain moment.
Not afraid to buy tampons
Be able to grunt and hit things with a stick
Know your woman's facial features and tone of voice... and mark your calender monthly
How to be a FATHER! (not procreation)
Know how to BBQ (ribs etc.)
Know not to take manly advice from Thadd

Go!

[j2k4]

Hug a Honey Badger?













Oh, let's say, make a woman laugh. :wink:

[j2k4]

A man ought to know how to keep house, too.

[j2k4]

Do an oil change.

[j2k4]

A man ought to know how to drink.

[green-lantern]

Updated with some editing :D

[Echo419]

bait a hook
throw a baseball/football
cook a steak on a grill
slap a ho
save a ho
get 30 lives on the NES game Contra
plant something
grow something
know the rules of the of the big 3 sports
eat your vegtables
say your prayers
and be a real American
:salute:

A man ought to know how to keep house, too.

so don't get married? :lol:

[j2k4]

A man ought to know how to keep house, too.


so don't get married? :lol:

So he doesn't have to, and also so if he does, he can properly weigh the worth/value of having a woman around.

[93STLTH]

Not an issue for a 3S owner, but a man should know how to drive a manual trans.

[green-lantern]

Not an issue for a 3S owner, but a man should be a certified mechanic.

fixed :D

[futurevr4man]

Kill a spider
Open jars
Balance a checkbook

[DrGonzo]

Defend yourself and family
Read a map
Admit when you're wrong
Survive without modern day amenities
Weld
Build a home

[green-lantern]

Build a home

That's a bigge! At least a lean-to anyway :D

[DrGonzo]

Guess it could be changed to "Shelter" Didn't mean a modern day home with central air, electric, plumbing, etc. But that is a good thing to add


Do basic home repairs (Drywall, electrical, plumbing, Etc)

[sergechronos]

Mine may be a bit more "modern man" based but:

Budget effectively
Carry on an intelligent conversation
Build something from a design/blueprints
Dress for an occasion (ie. tie a tie or wear a suit as the circumstance warrants)
Give a toast
Accept constructive criticism
Recognize and improve your own shortcomings

[j2k4]

Recognize and improve your own shortcomings

What about my longcomings?

[DrGonzo]

http://i.myniceprofile.com/527/52721.png

[green-lantern]

Carry on an intelligent conversation


These days build a home might be more likely :lo5l:

[sergechronos]

What about my longcomings?

I suggest finding a porn production company then and living every man's dream: getting paid to have sex with beautiful women all the time.


http://i.myniceprofile.com/527/52721.png

Product of the world we live in, it's things a man needs to know how to do these days to be successful.

[green-lantern]

Guess it could be changed to "Shelter" Didn't mean a modern day home with central air, electric, plumbing, etc. But that is a good thing to add


Do basic home repairs (Drywall, electrical, plumbing, Etc)

Edited my first post

[DrGonzo]

Product of the world we live in, it's things a man needs to know how to do these days to be successful.

but but but.... that's not what the title stated, just things a man should know how to do...... :p

Being successful is different to everyone. Being successful could be seen as becoming a millionaire, just being a good father or making it through the month and paying your rent on time.

[green-lantern]

but but but.... that's not what the title stated, just things a man should know how to do...... :p

Being successful is different to everyone. Being successful could be seen as becoming a millionaire, just being a good father or making it through the month and paying your rent on time.

True Dat!

[futurevr4man]

but but but.... that's not what the title stated, just things a man should know how to do...... :p

Being successful is different to everyone. Being successful could be seen as becoming a millionaire, just being a good father or making it through the month and paying your rent on time.

Or growing a mullet :suspect:


True Dat!

[Echo419]

Defend yourself and family
Read a map
Admit when you're wrong
Survive without modern day amenities
Weld
Build a home
never wrong. nothing to admit.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jtnsBuKAj-g/UuKFF16TNyI/AAAAAAAAAA0/uWmKmg82FiQ/s1600/Maximilian-feat.-Mefx-Like-A-Boss.png

[dbest671]

Know when he's had too much to drink... or when to STOP
How to satisfy a woman
Know when the words "Yes dear" and "OK dear" are the only words that need to spoken at a certain moment.
Not afraid to buy tampons

[onebadmollafolla]

Be able to grunt and hit things with a stick.

[futurevr4man]

Know when he's had too much to drink... or when to STOP
How to satisfy a woman
Know when the words "Yes dear" and "OK dear" are the only words that need to spoken at a certain moment.
Not afraid to buy tampons

This is a skill I have yet to master. Most of the others so far I can do lol

[dbest671]

You need to learn facial features and tone of voice... and mark your calender monthly ;)

[green-lantern]

You need to learn facial features and tone of voice... and mark your calender monthly ;)

:lo5l: this is good advice

[Echo419]

Know when he's had too much to drink... or when to STOP
How to satisfy a woman
Know when the words "Yes dear" and "OK dear" are the only words that need to spoken at a certain moment.
Not afraid to buy tampons

women are never satisfied. might as well work on putting square pegs into round holes, alchemy or finding the Loche Ness Monster. :lol:

[dbest671]

women are never satisfied. might as well work on putting square pegs into round holes, alchemy or finding the Loche Ness Monster. :lol:

Well then you must suck (figuratively not literally LOL). You obviously didn't understand why the word "satisfy" was in italics.

And if you cannot find a woman to satisfy... maybe it's not the woman's problem. But then again, you use Tinder a lot.

[CoopKill]

How to be a FATHER! (not procreation)

[green-lantern]

How to be a FATHER! (not procreation)

Damn! I think that's my favorite one yet!

[green-lantern]

Know how to BBQ (ribs etc.)

[green-lantern]

BTW I'll be taking this list and having a poll to make the best top 10 or 5 list. Not sure how I'll pick the few to vote on yet but......it will happen.

[sergechronos]

Know how to BBQ (ribs etc.)

BBQ, or grill in general? I think every man should know how to operate a charcoal grill, but the art of BBQ and smoking is a bit more obtuse, so I don't hold it against folks for not learning. And no, propane doesn't count as grilling.


You need to learn facial features and tone of voice... and mark your calender monthly ;)

Stock up on chocolate and/or wine for her before hand.

[IPD]

Amazing list you got going here, guys...but this is all bush league so far.

a REAL man:

-Knows the rules of Futbol; because he's not about to be outdone by a foreigner who knows more about sports than he does
-Is tech savvy enough to know & use Tor and Ghostery--and doesn't use social media because he knows better
-Can reload a semiautomatic handgun blindfolded...in 3 seconds
-Is cock-sure enough to permit his woman to sleep with other men--and not take it as an affront
-NEVER takes selfies
-Types out words long-hand & doesn't use craplish like "kno", "tru", and "jus", and "jelly" (Etc.)
-Isn't afraid to own small pets over fear of what other people will think
-Has at least a 6-figure retirement savings and a 5-figure emergency fund
-Knows how to build a bicycle from scratch & dial it in
-Wears fashions that best fit his personality and style--regardless of whatever is trending
-Prefers Martini's over Margaritas
-Can answer 70% of the questions on Jeopardy
etc, etc, etc...

[stealthee]

And no, propane doesn't count as grilling.

I'm impatient so charcoal can kiss my ass.

Also I can't even think of one person I know that even uses charcoal any more, because, again, impatient.

[sergechronos]

Propane isn't grilling, at that point you might as well just use an electric griddle.

[stealthee]

I grilled with charcoal one time. I got so aggravated I literally threw the grill in the garbage. I have zero patience, especially when it comes to food.

The one argument people use all the time is there is a taste difference between propane and charcoal. I say those people are idiots.

[dbest671]

Amazing list you got going here, guys...but this is all bush league so far.

a REAL man:

-Knows the rules of Futbol; because he's not about to be outdone by a foreigner who knows more about sports than he does
-Is tech savvy enough to know & use Tor and Ghostery--and doesn't use social media because he knows better
-Can reload a semiautomatic handgun blindfolded...in 3 seconds
-Is cock-sure enough to permit his woman to sleep with other men--and not take it as an affront
-NEVER takes selfies
-Types out words long-hand & doesn't use craplish like "kno", "tru", and "jus", and "jelly" (Etc.)
-Isn't afraid to own small pets over fear of what other people will think
-Has at least a 6-figure retirement savings and a 5-figure emergency fund
-Knows how to build a bicycle from scratch & dial it in
-Wears fashions that best fit his personality and style--regardless of whatever is trending
-Prefers Martini's over Margaritas
-Can answer 70% of the questions on Jeopardy
etc, etc, etc...

If she's sleeping with other men, then she's not YOUR woman LOL. A woman wouldn't have to sleep around if she had a "REAL" man. But to each his/her own I guess. I guess I'm just more of a traditional type of person.

[onebadmollafolla]

Owner of a Weber charcoal grill, Weber propane grill, and an infrared grill. I use the propane grill 95% of the time. More even heat, way more convenient, much less mess. Also, grilling on a proper propane is much better than electric.

[stealthee]

His whole list is bullshit anyway and has nothing to do with being a real man. It has to do with being an IPD.

-No one else cares about soccer, and not caring doesn't make anyone less of a man
-I have no idea what Tor or ghostery is and I bet most other people don't either
-Reloading a semi-auto blindfolded is too easy and again, has nothing to do with being a man
-No real man would let HIS woman sleep around
-Taking selfies has nothing to do with being a man
-Actually typing out words has less to do with being a man and more to do with being an idiot
-Just because you like toy dogs doesn't mean you are a real man or not
-Your retirement savings has zero to do with being a man. Some people are just more fortunate than others and able to get into a career where they can save that.
-another IPDism. Just because you like biking doesn't mean others care.
-no comment on your style...
-both of those drinks are pretty ghey :p
-being able to answer Jeopardy questions again has nothing to do with being a man and more to do with intelligence. I know some people who probable couldn't answer 20% of the questions and I would consider them a real a man as anyone.

[stealthee]

Owner of a Weber charcoal grill, Weber propane grill, and an infrared grill. I use the propane grill 95% of the time. More even heat, way more convenient, much less mess. Also, grilling on a proper propane is much better than electric.

DING! I make some badass steaks on my propane grill that will make your mouth water.

[dbest671]

A real man wouldn't care what other men think a real man should be. Ha, say that five times.

[IPD]

-It's a treasure that society sees those as polyamorous as somehow less than their monoamorous counterparts--as though their lifestyle choices have any bearing on their prowess as a lover or life-mate. But I wouldn't expect most to understand that. I maintain that a man (or woman, for that matter) who can openly accept polyamory in their partner has reached a higher level of cognition--one which remains opaque to most.

-If you truly feel that "no one else cares about soccer", then you clearly are not world-minded. And a real man has a broader-based view than his own narrow backyard in poduck-fuck P.A.

-No one said anything about toy dogs. Cats, ferrets, guinea-pigs, parakeets, etc....these are all small pets. Again, that myopic "my backyard is all I know" view is what prevents you from recognizing that. Real men don't need large animals (Feral tigers, etc) as a symbol of his virility.

-Calloused, flippant disregard for one's own cyber-security is not the hallmark of a real man. I assert that--in the 21st century--it is as much of being a real man as it is to change one's own oil. Of course, those who can't be bothered to log out of their online accounts after use (or those whose passwords are literally "password") probably couldn't comprehend this either. It's also a prerequisite for manhood to be able to do one's own tech-support.

-You'd be surprised at the number of "men" who have not mastered the basics of safe firearms handling.

-Taking selfies is the hallmark of narcissism (and in extreme form, diagnosable psychological abnormalities). A real man isn't a narcissist---he's self-assured but not a cocky douchebag.

-Savings comes about when it's an individual's priority. Of course, that's not really that important in the US of A, where everyone expects the insolvent government to somehow have endless amounts of revenue from which to dole out happiness checks to everyone. I was saving 10% of my income into retirement funds before I ever got into my current career...and I did that for 3+ years. Being fiscally prudent is the mark of a real man; whining that it's simply about one's station in life is not.

-A man, sans intelligence, is not a real man. A barbarian, perhaps. A survivalist. A viking even. But not a real man. And perhaps trivia answers aren't the best judge for said intelligence...but the most capable handyman in the world with an IQ of 75 isn't a real man. Among numerous other things--problem solving is very much reliant upon IQ. Regardless of how you measure it (I was arbitrarily throwing out Jeopardy--even though there are much better measures)--intelligence is a necessary facet of being a real man.

-Regardless of your personal convictions on alcoholic drinks, a real man is aware of his surroundings. A real man orders a drink that's appropriate for his situation; he doesn't order beer at a formal business event (or at least very, very rarely does). "BEER!!!!" is not a universally appropriate drink.

-My style has not come into question here. If a man knows that brown is a flattering color for himself, then he will choose a wardrobe with those colors--even if the prevailing trend is greys/blacks. That's a level of cognizance about dress and appearance that requires an individual critique, rather than simply relying on whatever the hell old-navy or A&F have brain washed you into buying this year. (or in brian's case, i'm gonna guess von dutch, ed hardy and diesel).

-Why is mechanical inclination of automobiles the definition of a "real man"? Ok, so you don't think being likewise inclined about bicycles is an equivalent measure. What about a man who can rig/man/maintain his own sailboat? What about a man who packs his own parachutes? Perhaps someone who has mastered the art of automotive/decorative airbrushing, but hasn't invested commensurate time in being able to tear down an engine--is he less of a man? At some point you're just arbitrarily picking an automobile as the litmus test--regardless of the mechanical acumen actually required. Or perhaps we're just picking car know-how because that's what Brian is good at.....

-If typing out words is your definition of idiocy...then the jury rests.

[IPD]

A real man wouldn't care what other men think a real man should be. Ha, say that five times.

"It's not what you look like when you're doing what you're doing
It's what you doing when your doing what you look like you're doing"


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jW4VZ5J0fNQ

[CoopKill]

-Knows the rules of Futbol; because he's not about to be outdone by a foreigner who knows more about sports than he does

If you are using sport as a measure of a man, then you have it wrong. A man must play the sport, any human is capable of feats of memory.


-Is tech savvy enough to know & use Tor and Ghostery--and doesn't use social media because he knows better

The sky is falling.


-Can reload a semiautomatic handgun blindfolded...in 3 seconds

While getting his throat slit by a true warrior, not a man.


-Is cock-sure enough to permit his woman to sleep with other men--and not take it as an affront

Confidence has nothing to do with whoring his mate.


-NEVER takes selfies

Which shows the lack of confidence.


-Types out words long-hand & doesn't use craplish like "kno", "tru", and "jus", and "jelly" (Etc.)

You should proof read before posting.


-Isn't afraid to own small pets over fear of what other people will think

Conciders other points of view before cementing his, as he might be wrong. (You should not impose your confidence issues on others)


-Has at least a 6-figure retirement savings and a 5-figure emergency fund

Has the ability to care for him, and his family* Currency is only a tool while being valid to society.


-Knows how to build a bicycle from scratch & dial it in

Many men, and epic leaders have not had the ability to be mechaniclally inclined. They do however have to ability to make useful those around them that are.


-Wears fashions that best fit his personality and style--regardless of whatever is trending
Ignores fads over necessity in survival/usefulness.


-Prefers Martini's over Margaritas

Pefers to excite his preference in taste while maintaning control of his actions.


-Can answer 70% of the questions on Jeopardy

Answering Jeopardy has nothing to do with intellegence. It does however display ones memory capability.


Sorry Henry, I could find nothing in yourpost validating the term of being a man.

[IPD]

Has the ability to care for him, and his family* Currency is only a tool while being valid to society.

Many men, and epic leaders have not had the ability to be mechaniclally inclined. They do however have to ability to make useful those around them that are.


Of course, these two statements have absolutely NOTHING to do with each other...because a "real man" somehow wouldn't use his own skill-sets to bring in income which he can use as collateral to acquire the needed services of others with different skill-sets--which he doesn't possess. :confused:

Clearly my own definition of this subject is a lot more cosmopolitan than the consensus, in that I don't feel it's simply sufficient that a man master hand-trades & survival skills. Though I grant you that in the event of nuclear winter, my own definition will fall out of applicability.

p.s.
Carrying firearms for personal defense is never a bad thing; and the "true warriors" that are slitting people's throats--is currently Daesh. Or are you simply espousing that it's more manly (read: stupid) to bring a knife to a gunfight?

[Echo419]

- be able to squat 700lbs
- be able to bench press 405lbs
- be able to deadlift 650lbs

come at me boys! :lmao:

that being said if playing and/or knowing lots about kickball mean someone is not a man than most of America aren't men. of course given the direction our society has gone in recent years I might not argue that point very far. kickball is popular world wide because you don't really need shit to play it. it might as well be called povertyball because all you need is something to kick. you don't even need shoes.

yes selfies are for girls. self-indulgent, self-centered and selfish girls.

letting your broad bang other dudes does not make you a man. it has no bearing on it at all. if anything it only proves 2 things. 1. Chris Brown was right and these ho's are in fact not loyal. 2. she needs other dudes to get her rocks off and you're not enough. she's only using you to fulfill emotional and/or financial needs.I don't really care what 2 or 10 people do with their relationships. none of my business and frankly I don't give a shit. but don't tell me I'm less or not a man because you're broad likes to bang other dudes and you've found a reason to be ok with it.


Well then you must suck (figuratively not literally LOL). You obviously didn't understand why the word "satisfy" was in italics.

And if you cannot find a woman to satisfy... maybe it's not the woman's problem. But then again, you use Tinder a lot.
several things. sarcasim. even if I wasn't being sarcastic the lack of satisfaction is still not my problem as I am still satisfied and by definition happy. not sure what tinder has to do with anything but whatever.

[DrGonzo]

-Knows the rules of Futbol; because he's not about to be outdone by a foreigner who knows more about sports than he does
I couldn't give a flying fuck about watching or knowing that much about Sports. I would rather be out working on something in the yard or shop then waste my time on sports.....


-Is tech savvy enough to know & use Tor and Ghostery--and doesn't use social media because he knows better
Scared Much!! You may need to readjust your Aluminum Foil hat.


-Can reload a semiautomatic handgun blindfolded...in 3 seconds
Going to go with Coop on this one "While getting his throat slit by a true warrior, not a man." Cause 3 seconds to 2 seconds too long for someone carrying a knife.


-Is cock-sure enough to permit his woman to sleep with other men--and not take it as an affront
She's not YOUR woman, She's everyone elses!


-Has at least a 6-figure retirement savings and a 5-figure emergency fund
I real man knows his work is never done, he'll retire when he's dead!


-Wears fashions that best fit his personality and style--regardless of whatever is trending
Fashion refers to a/the trend, so this makes no sense!


-Can answer 70% of the questions on Jeopardy
Which usually amounts to knowing a bunch of useless shit you memorized in school and it will be the only time it is ever expressed unless you stumble into a conversation with the same people knowing the same useless shit. I'd have a more intellectual conversation talking to friends about cars or my co-workers about computers/software.

[green-lantern]

WOW Thadds list sucks lol



A man should know not to take manly advice from Thadd :lo5l:

[a2j]

- Be responsible.
- Be able to provide for you family. (education, not being lazy, etc)

[IPD]

*shrug*

I'm comfortable with who/what I am. The actions & behaviors of those around me does not change my own self-worth. If I actually gave a flying fuck about what Paul, Brian or anyone else thinks, I wouldn't be me. If my "list" doesn't fit your preconceived notions, that's fine. I reject your subjective reality and replace it with actuality.

It's not like there's many kindred spirits left, out there anyways. Seeing the world "differently" and being chastised for doing so--that's been a multi-decade event for me. Whatever. Prudent behaviors follow knowledge, and quite often those seen as being "too prudent" are usually interpreted as such by societal elements who lack proper background or information on the subject matter. It's really no different than calling someone a "gun-nut" because they own a firearm--yet doing an about-face and applauding them for using it to defend themselves from an attacker.

If this seems a little haughty to you, I submit that it's simply turnabout for the denigration I endure--sometimes daily--from a soceity that has closed itself to rational debate, intellectual pursuits, and open-mindedness.

[Echo419]

you had no problem judging people and telling them why they were less of a man for certain things but when they question it and rebute things you get all bent out of shape and return with insults or at the very least talking down to them. seems a little hypocritical to me. :dontknow:

[IPD]

i thought that was the whole exercise of this stupid pointless thread in the first place, demeaning everyone who doesn't measure up to some individual's arbitrary standards of "manhood"?

[Chris@Rvengeperformance]

I thought this was supposed to be a fun thread?

1)be able to chug a bottle of syrup
2)does what he says he will

[onebadmollafolla]

I thought this was supposed to be a fun thread?

IPD saw the thread and wanted to give his two cents. I'm sure you can spell it out from there.

[IPD]

I thought this was supposed to be a fun thread?

1)be able to chug a bottle of syrup
2)does what he says he will
3)can complete cinnamon challenge
4)can snort a line of mustard

[green-lantern]

I thought this was supposed to be a fun thread?

1)be able to chug a bottle of syrup
2)does what he says he will

This!

Don't get butthurt Thadd, I'm just joking about the "don't take manly advice from Thadd".

I got a new thread idea in the works, try not to take that too seriously ether.

[sergechronos]

I thought this was supposed to be a fun thread?

1)be able to chug a bottle of syrup
2)does what he says he will
Fun? On the internet? Unpossible!

3) does what he wants when his wife threatens him with "do what you want." Ignores the consequences. Ends up with new turbos, and a comfy spot on the couch ;)

[green-lantern]

Fun? On the internet? Unpossible!

3) does what he wants when his wife threatens him with "do what you want." Ignores the consequences. Ends up with new turbos, and a comfy spot on the couch ;)

Why do you mock me?

[Echo419]

My motto: No wife. happy life :)

[stealthee]

My motto: No wife. happy life :)

Was talking about that last night. Was hanging out with my brother and some friends. I was the only single guy there with 3 married couples and the couples were jokingly arguing and the women said, "Brian, don't ever get married." LOL

[Echo419]

Was talking about that last night. Was hanging out with my brother and some friends. I was the only single guy there with 3 married couples and the couples were jokingly arguing and the women said, "Brian, don't ever get married." LOL

you know why single men are smarter than married men? because if they weren't they'd be married too. :lol:

[green-lantern]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtC14cpwwXg