j2k4
05-27-2014, 01:19 PM
...I heard the best description of my ex yet.
Over the years, I have referred to her in a variety of ways, all of them derogatory, and most of them fairly graphic - but I never quite capture the essential 'nub' of things.
By way of background, I need only say she is easy, loose, and EXTREMELY prolific.
From there, you can use your imagination.
Last week I attended a charity dinner at the local American Legion, and it is a peculiarity of having been married to such a woman that, when I find myself in a crowd (her other exes experience this, too), a mental roll-call is taken, sorting the men who are notches on her rapidly-disappearing belt, the few who are definitely not, and another few whose status is not known.
There is also an urge to commune with other past victims for story-telling time, and semi-official welcoming into the club of shame.
I happened on one such fellow who had a go'round with her shortly after the divorce was final, but as we were barely acquaintances, we had never talked about our common experience.
In our ensuing conversation, he was holding forth telling me about one or another of his experiences with her, when he used the phrase, she was "like a trashcan full of Twinkies...".
I damn near pissed myself.
Anyway, this post will serve to immortalize his words, and my jealousy at not having thought of them first. :D
Over the years, I have referred to her in a variety of ways, all of them derogatory, and most of them fairly graphic - but I never quite capture the essential 'nub' of things.
By way of background, I need only say she is easy, loose, and EXTREMELY prolific.
From there, you can use your imagination.
Last week I attended a charity dinner at the local American Legion, and it is a peculiarity of having been married to such a woman that, when I find myself in a crowd (her other exes experience this, too), a mental roll-call is taken, sorting the men who are notches on her rapidly-disappearing belt, the few who are definitely not, and another few whose status is not known.
There is also an urge to commune with other past victims for story-telling time, and semi-official welcoming into the club of shame.
I happened on one such fellow who had a go'round with her shortly after the divorce was final, but as we were barely acquaintances, we had never talked about our common experience.
In our ensuing conversation, he was holding forth telling me about one or another of his experiences with her, when he used the phrase, she was "like a trashcan full of Twinkies...".
I damn near pissed myself.
Anyway, this post will serve to immortalize his words, and my jealousy at not having thought of them first. :D